Oh hey!
Today was truly a wonderful day - let me tell you why...
So for the past few months, I have been freaking out about everything - just life in general. Realizing that I will be graduating college in a year has stressed me out a bit, to say the least. Everyday I wake up wondering what exactly I am supposed to be doing with myself for the rest of my life. I am the type of person that likes to have most things planned out, so not having any post-graduation plans has brought on countless anxiety attacks. I have spent so many nights laying in bed asking God to point me in the direction of what I am supposed to do.
You would think that college might have given me some idea of what I want to do, but it has only made me more confused. I know that I do not want to be a doctor or an engineer but each day I am discovering different career paths that sound interesting. Not only have I been stressed about having no idea what I want to do, I have also been stressed about what to choose, and then not being able to do anything because of my lack of experience in whatever I decide that I want to do.
With that being said, everyone has stressed getting an internship. Now, that is much easier said than done. Not only is it extremely difficult to find someone to look past your resume and cover letter and actually give you an interview, but it is even more difficult when you don't know what you even want to apply for!
While I was in Italy, I started applying for internships. Since I have no idea what I want to do, I was applying for all sorts of internships - PR, communications, marketing, event planning, etc. However, it didn't seem to matter where I applied - no one wanted me. I thought that having work experience was good but I guess it wasn't what anyone was looking for. It didn't matter what I titled emails, said in my cover letter, or put on my resume because no one seemed to want to give me the time of day.
I was getting discouraged by the lack of responses to internship inquiries, so I committed to working as an Orientation Leader again just because I knew that it was a guaranteed job that would pay me good money. This way, at least I had something to do. When I applied, I had no other summer plans, so I figured that it was better than nothing.
Little did I know that it would get in the way of my internship search… When people would finally respond to me and ask for my availability, they did not like the fact that I would be gone for an entire month. I'm not saying that my time commitment to orientation was the only reason that I was struggling with finding an internship, but the chunk of time taken out of my summer definitely didn't help.
It was beginning to seem like I was going to have to choose: unpaid internship or paid summer job - not both. I was getting really stressed out because everyone was telling me that all employers care about is internships so that should be my top priority. However, I didn't want to back out on orientation and burn that bridge for an internship that I didn't even have. It just seemed like no matter what I did, I was not going to win. At that point, I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that God didn't think I needed an internship so I should just hold tight. His plans for my life have not led me wrong thus far so I figured I should trust him and not stress too much.
After giving it all up to God, I became much more at peace with my situation, realizing that He would take care of me. Once I accepted that, I was a lot less stressed. I kept applying for internships hoping that something would work out, but being okay if nothing did.
On a whim, I decided that wedding planning could be fun so I emailed a couple companies in Portland, explaining my time commitment issues, and asking if there was any way that I could work with them after orientation. Yesterday, within an hour of emailing one company, I got a response saying that I emailed them just in time; they were finalizing their summer interns at the end of the week. Today, I had an interview. Twenty minutes into the interview, I had an internship.
Turns out God was looking out for me the whole time - He just wanted to make me sweat a little. With His help, I am able to not only keep my job with orientation and make a little money, but I am also able to gain some experience - and a resume booster - to see if event planning is something that I might be interested in pursuing.
I have always been a firm believer that life never goes according to our plans; God always has His own ideas for how He thinks we should live. However, I have never been a fan of the whole waiting for His plans to unfold part. These past few months have just been a reminder to be patient and know that God is good. I'm just happier that now I can sleep easier knowing that He is working His magic and is looking out for me.
Here's to trusting in His process and watching our lives unfold before our eyes.
Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
A Whirlwind of A Weekend
Hello hello!
I apologize to anyone who religiously follows this blog for the lack of recent posts. Now that I am home and don't have weekly travels to write about, I guess I've been slacking a little…
Fear not! I am about to tell you about my most recent adventure - going back to LA to visit LMU!
This whole plan started a few months ago when I asked my parents if I could go down to LMU for Pi Phi's senior farewells before graduation. They said yes, but I wanted to surprise my best friends so I told them that they said no because I had spent too much money abroad and they didn't want to have to pay for any other plane tickets. After talking with my old boss and a few other people, I finally devised a plan to get to LMU and surprise everyone.
On Wednesday afternoon, I flew from PDX to LAX and met up with my friend, Deanna. Now, to be quite honest, Deanna and I have never spent a whole lot of time together so I didn't know if there would be a lot of awkward silence but I wanted to see her so I took my chances. We ended up having so much fun together swapping stories from the past semester and shoving our faces with Mexican food. Being with her was so refreshing because she genuinely cared about me and wanted to know about my life - so different than a lot of the people that I spent time with for the past couple months.
Deanna, thank you for being you and letting me be me too. You have no idea how much I appreciate your genuine care and concern for me. I really needed some reassurance that I was worth being cared about, so thank you again.
After spending a few hours with Deanna, she dropped me off on campus where I met up with my little, Alyssa. Now, Alyssa and I have never been super good at keeping in contact - even when we are on the same campus - but she is someone who I care deeply about and always enjoy spending time with. When we saw each other, she literally attacked me with the best hug ever. Once we finally established that, yes, I was really at LMU, we went to her room and talked and talked and talked until she had to go write a paper - because, after all, it was finals week at LMU…
Alyssa, thank you for bearing with me through my horrible story-telling and making up for it with your awesome stories. Your passion and enthusiasm for life is truly contagious and I am so lucky to call you not only a friend, but also a sister - my little sister.
When Alyssa went to the library to work on her paper, I had nowhere to go (because everyone else I wanted to see either didn't know that I was there or was sick) so I just sat in her room for two hours until it was time to surprise my friends. Two hours has never gone by slower in my life! Sitting in that room waiting for the time to pass was like watching paint dry or waiting for the phone to ring - just miserable.
When the clock finally hit 10 o'clock, I went over to Rosecrans to make my appearance. They were having their end of the year party, so my boss got everyone's attention and told them that he had a surprise for everyone. I walked through the door and was immediately overwhelmed with the sound of screeching and gasps. I wasn't even in the door for 30 seconds before Karly ran over to me sobbing and attacked me into a bear hug while John just kind of looked at me with a confused look and mouthed, "wait, this isn't real, you're not here, are you?" - exactly the reactions that I was hoping for.
After the party, I hung out in Karly's room for a couple hours with residents - just like old times. It was amazing how easily things went back to the way they were before I left. We all sat around stuffing our faces with junk food, poking fun at each other, and gossiping about everything going on at LMU. While it may seem like nothing, those times hanging out with residents were some of the times where I was happiest during these past two years as an RA. Call me crazy, but I really did miss my job.
At around midnight, John was finally done with fraternity stuff so we got to catch up. We stayed up until probably 3:30ish catching up on literally everything. To be honest, John probably knows more about my life than most people do. Don't get me wrong - he still talks more than I do, but he is a good listener too. It was so relieving to be back with someone who knows all about me - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and still wants to spend time with me. I really missed being able to talk to someone about everything going through my head and not having them judge me for it.
John, thank you for the long talks and late night walks. After being the best person at keeping in touch with me while I was gone, I wasn't too worried about us drifting apart, but still, thanks for keeping me around and being my best friend.
When I finally got to bed, I literally could not sleep one, because it was hotter than hell in Karly's room but two, because I had so much adrenaline pumping through me - I was just so excited to be back and reunited with my friends! After maybe an hour or two of sleep total, I met up with Sarah for breakfast. During our two hours at the restaurant, there was never a moment of silence. We took turns eating and rambling about our lives at a mile a minute. Sarah has always been one of the people who can make me talk because I can tell that she genuinely cares about me and my well being. It was nice to catch up.
Sarah, thank you for caring. I have always looked up to you and truly appreciate you always looking out for me. You are such a wonderful friend and I honestly don't know what I am going to do without you next year to make me acknowledge my feelings and be open with people about them.
After breakfast, I met up with Brielle in the Lion's Den. Brielle has always been like a little sister to me so I wanted to make sure to take some time to check in on her while I was back. It was so good to see how she was doing and make sure she was still sane. While I was mostly there to check on her, she also did a good job on checking on me too.
Brielle, I'm not supposed to have favorites, but let's be real - you have been one of my favorites since o'session two. You have always thought that I am a lot cooler than I really am, but your admiration for me always makes me feel so loved and makes me feel like I'm doing something right - you'll never truly know how much that means to me.
I spent the rest of the day walking around campus and hanging out with random people just trying to pass the time before it was time to be reunited with my Pi Phi family. At three, I met up with Christina, Alyssa, and Rebecca for some quality family bonding. Being with them was such a joy. For the past couple years, it's just been three people in the family, but now that Rebecca is finally here, there are four of us and it just felt so complete. I am honestly so blessed to have such a wonderful group of women to call family; each of them is perfect in their own way and makes our family whole.
Rebecca, I heard a lot about you before meeting you so you had a lot of high expectations to live up to but let me just tell you that you exceeded every one of my expectations. You are such a joy to be around and make everyone feel comfortable. You are such a wonderful addition to this family and I am so excited to get to know you better and see how your time at LMU unfolds.
After our family dinner, I was finally reunited with Julie! She had been sick for the past few days so we couldn't hang out before; needless to say, I was so excited to finally get to see my best friend! To be honest, we had seen each other around campus a couple times and I was kind of bummed because things seemed off - I felt like I had been replaced. But, once we finally got the time to really hang out and reconnect, it was like nothing had changed. We sat in her house for about five hours catching up and just talking about life. I had really missed her so I was glad that things fell right back into place.
Julie, I truly don't know what I would do without you. We are always on the same page, finishing each other's sentences, and reading each others' minds. I am so thankful to have a best friend that I can not only relate to in so many ways, but look up to as well. Thank you for accepting me as I am while always encouraging me to be better. You are the best best friend that I could ever ask for.
When I finally got back to Rosecrans, Karly and I just lounged around in her room until we were tired enough to sleep. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I missed hanging out with her - talking when we feel like it and embracing the silence when we don't. I think it says a lot about a relationship if you can have silence without it being awkward.
Karly, thank you for not expecting me to talk every second but listening to me when I do. You are my partner in crime and I truly don't know what I would have done without you this year. I don't know how I have survived without you by my side until now but I'm glad that I don't have to anymore. You are such an incredible person and I am so lucky to call you my best friend.
The next day, I woke up bright and early to make my way to Disneyland with my fellow Pi Phi's! I was originally planning on going with Julie but then she told me that we were going with three other girls as well. Now, I didn't know all of the other girls super well and I have a weird thing against odd numbers (something about there always being one person being left out), so I wasn't as excited for the day as I normally would be. However, like (almost) always, I worried for no reason because the trip ended up being so fun and I actually got closer to one of the girls that I didn't know super well.
I apologize to anyone who religiously follows this blog for the lack of recent posts. Now that I am home and don't have weekly travels to write about, I guess I've been slacking a little…
Fear not! I am about to tell you about my most recent adventure - going back to LA to visit LMU!
This whole plan started a few months ago when I asked my parents if I could go down to LMU for Pi Phi's senior farewells before graduation. They said yes, but I wanted to surprise my best friends so I told them that they said no because I had spent too much money abroad and they didn't want to have to pay for any other plane tickets. After talking with my old boss and a few other people, I finally devised a plan to get to LMU and surprise everyone.
On Wednesday afternoon, I flew from PDX to LAX and met up with my friend, Deanna. Now, to be quite honest, Deanna and I have never spent a whole lot of time together so I didn't know if there would be a lot of awkward silence but I wanted to see her so I took my chances. We ended up having so much fun together swapping stories from the past semester and shoving our faces with Mexican food. Being with her was so refreshing because she genuinely cared about me and wanted to know about my life - so different than a lot of the people that I spent time with for the past couple months.
Deanna, thank you for being you and letting me be me too. You have no idea how much I appreciate your genuine care and concern for me. I really needed some reassurance that I was worth being cared about, so thank you again.
After spending a few hours with Deanna, she dropped me off on campus where I met up with my little, Alyssa. Now, Alyssa and I have never been super good at keeping in contact - even when we are on the same campus - but she is someone who I care deeply about and always enjoy spending time with. When we saw each other, she literally attacked me with the best hug ever. Once we finally established that, yes, I was really at LMU, we went to her room and talked and talked and talked until she had to go write a paper - because, after all, it was finals week at LMU…
Alyssa, thank you for bearing with me through my horrible story-telling and making up for it with your awesome stories. Your passion and enthusiasm for life is truly contagious and I am so lucky to call you not only a friend, but also a sister - my little sister.
When Alyssa went to the library to work on her paper, I had nowhere to go (because everyone else I wanted to see either didn't know that I was there or was sick) so I just sat in her room for two hours until it was time to surprise my friends. Two hours has never gone by slower in my life! Sitting in that room waiting for the time to pass was like watching paint dry or waiting for the phone to ring - just miserable.
When the clock finally hit 10 o'clock, I went over to Rosecrans to make my appearance. They were having their end of the year party, so my boss got everyone's attention and told them that he had a surprise for everyone. I walked through the door and was immediately overwhelmed with the sound of screeching and gasps. I wasn't even in the door for 30 seconds before Karly ran over to me sobbing and attacked me into a bear hug while John just kind of looked at me with a confused look and mouthed, "wait, this isn't real, you're not here, are you?" - exactly the reactions that I was hoping for.
After the party, I hung out in Karly's room for a couple hours with residents - just like old times. It was amazing how easily things went back to the way they were before I left. We all sat around stuffing our faces with junk food, poking fun at each other, and gossiping about everything going on at LMU. While it may seem like nothing, those times hanging out with residents were some of the times where I was happiest during these past two years as an RA. Call me crazy, but I really did miss my job.
At around midnight, John was finally done with fraternity stuff so we got to catch up. We stayed up until probably 3:30ish catching up on literally everything. To be honest, John probably knows more about my life than most people do. Don't get me wrong - he still talks more than I do, but he is a good listener too. It was so relieving to be back with someone who knows all about me - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and still wants to spend time with me. I really missed being able to talk to someone about everything going through my head and not having them judge me for it.
John, thank you for the long talks and late night walks. After being the best person at keeping in touch with me while I was gone, I wasn't too worried about us drifting apart, but still, thanks for keeping me around and being my best friend.
When I finally got to bed, I literally could not sleep one, because it was hotter than hell in Karly's room but two, because I had so much adrenaline pumping through me - I was just so excited to be back and reunited with my friends! After maybe an hour or two of sleep total, I met up with Sarah for breakfast. During our two hours at the restaurant, there was never a moment of silence. We took turns eating and rambling about our lives at a mile a minute. Sarah has always been one of the people who can make me talk because I can tell that she genuinely cares about me and my well being. It was nice to catch up.
Sarah, thank you for caring. I have always looked up to you and truly appreciate you always looking out for me. You are such a wonderful friend and I honestly don't know what I am going to do without you next year to make me acknowledge my feelings and be open with people about them.
After breakfast, I met up with Brielle in the Lion's Den. Brielle has always been like a little sister to me so I wanted to make sure to take some time to check in on her while I was back. It was so good to see how she was doing and make sure she was still sane. While I was mostly there to check on her, she also did a good job on checking on me too.
Brielle, I'm not supposed to have favorites, but let's be real - you have been one of my favorites since o'session two. You have always thought that I am a lot cooler than I really am, but your admiration for me always makes me feel so loved and makes me feel like I'm doing something right - you'll never truly know how much that means to me.
I spent the rest of the day walking around campus and hanging out with random people just trying to pass the time before it was time to be reunited with my Pi Phi family. At three, I met up with Christina, Alyssa, and Rebecca for some quality family bonding. Being with them was such a joy. For the past couple years, it's just been three people in the family, but now that Rebecca is finally here, there are four of us and it just felt so complete. I am honestly so blessed to have such a wonderful group of women to call family; each of them is perfect in their own way and makes our family whole.
Rebecca, I heard a lot about you before meeting you so you had a lot of high expectations to live up to but let me just tell you that you exceeded every one of my expectations. You are such a joy to be around and make everyone feel comfortable. You are such a wonderful addition to this family and I am so excited to get to know you better and see how your time at LMU unfolds.
After our family dinner, I was finally reunited with Julie! She had been sick for the past few days so we couldn't hang out before; needless to say, I was so excited to finally get to see my best friend! To be honest, we had seen each other around campus a couple times and I was kind of bummed because things seemed off - I felt like I had been replaced. But, once we finally got the time to really hang out and reconnect, it was like nothing had changed. We sat in her house for about five hours catching up and just talking about life. I had really missed her so I was glad that things fell right back into place.
Julie, I truly don't know what I would do without you. We are always on the same page, finishing each other's sentences, and reading each others' minds. I am so thankful to have a best friend that I can not only relate to in so many ways, but look up to as well. Thank you for accepting me as I am while always encouraging me to be better. You are the best best friend that I could ever ask for.
When I finally got back to Rosecrans, Karly and I just lounged around in her room until we were tired enough to sleep. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I missed hanging out with her - talking when we feel like it and embracing the silence when we don't. I think it says a lot about a relationship if you can have silence without it being awkward.
Karly, thank you for not expecting me to talk every second but listening to me when I do. You are my partner in crime and I truly don't know what I would have done without you this year. I don't know how I have survived without you by my side until now but I'm glad that I don't have to anymore. You are such an incredible person and I am so lucky to call you my best friend.
The next day, I woke up bright and early to make my way to Disneyland with my fellow Pi Phi's! I was originally planning on going with Julie but then she told me that we were going with three other girls as well. Now, I didn't know all of the other girls super well and I have a weird thing against odd numbers (something about there always being one person being left out), so I wasn't as excited for the day as I normally would be. However, like (almost) always, I worried for no reason because the trip ended up being so fun and I actually got closer to one of the girls that I didn't know super well.
Marissa, you are the coolest. I am so bummed that we haven't really hung out before Disneyland because I feel like I've been missing out on a great friend. You are such a genuine person and I can't wait to spend our last year at LMU together!
We got back from Disneyland fairly early so I finally got some time to hang out with Spencer. I was bummed because I didn't think our schedules would ever line up and I was going to have to go another four months without seeing him, so needless to say, I was okay with leaving Disneyland a bit early to see him.
Spencer, thank you for always being there for me. You always know just what to say to brighten my day. Thank you for always seeing the best in me and constantly reminding me that I am good enough. You truly are the best.
After another night of restless sleep, I spent the afternoon with a lot of lovely Pi Phi's for Senior Brunch. The whole afternoon was dedicated to saying farewell to the graduating class. It was super emotional for a variety of reasons: one, it was the last time that I may ever see some of these women ever again, two, everyone was emotional and emotions are contagious, therefore I was emotional, and three, it reminded me that next year I will be in their position - graduating and heading into the real world. It was just a lot to handle. However, it was really nice to spend time with my little family to support my big as she heads off into the big bad world.
Christina, you truly have been such a huge blessing in my life. You are the perfect big sister for me - so incredibly like me but very different at the same time. You are such a light to everyone you come into contact with and always see the good in others. I am so excited to see how the rest of your life unfolds - I will always be there right alongside you (metaphorically) every step of the way!
As the weekend came to a close, it was time to head back to the Pacific Northwest. The weekend was quite a whirlwind but I wouldn't have traded any of the chaos and craziness for the world.
To be perfectly honest, like everyone else, I like to play situations out in my head and fantasize about how great things could be - only to be disappointed when reality doesn't live up to my expectations. Needless to say, after months of going over how this weekend could go, I had pretty high expectations for my trip. However, this whole weekend - especially the reactions to my arrival - exceeded my expectations - by far. The way that people embraced me and welcomed me back with open arms made me feel so unbelievably loved. It's true that distance really does make the heart grow fonder and I know that I realized that I am quite fond of a lot of people, so it was just nice to know that people are fond of me too.
Christina, you truly have been such a huge blessing in my life. You are the perfect big sister for me - so incredibly like me but very different at the same time. You are such a light to everyone you come into contact with and always see the good in others. I am so excited to see how the rest of your life unfolds - I will always be there right alongside you (metaphorically) every step of the way!
As the weekend came to a close, it was time to head back to the Pacific Northwest. The weekend was quite a whirlwind but I wouldn't have traded any of the chaos and craziness for the world.
To be perfectly honest, like everyone else, I like to play situations out in my head and fantasize about how great things could be - only to be disappointed when reality doesn't live up to my expectations. Needless to say, after months of going over how this weekend could go, I had pretty high expectations for my trip. However, this whole weekend - especially the reactions to my arrival - exceeded my expectations - by far. The way that people embraced me and welcomed me back with open arms made me feel so unbelievably loved. It's true that distance really does make the heart grow fonder and I know that I realized that I am quite fond of a lot of people, so it was just nice to know that people are fond of me too.
Here's to good times and good people!
Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)