Life. Oh man, life.
Lately, life has been full of an overwhelming amount of ups and downs and all too many emotions that I am not nearly capable of handling without losing my mind.
Since school started, I have moved off campus for the first time, got three internships, aced a few midterms, bombed some others, drank more than I intended, gone to more events in the first few months than I did in the past three years, and have had to deal with the evolution of relationship that is to be expected with time.
Out of all of the experiences I have had lately, the most emotional has most definitely been the changing relationships. People that I never really talked to have become close friends and close friends have turned into acquaintances. The hardest thing has been watching people who you used to know like the back of your hand turn in to a complete stranger. I get that time changes things and people, but it doesn't make it any easier...
I think that I have been taking these changing friendships especially hard because it takes a lot for me to trust someone and open up to them so it hurts when I lose that person. I find it hard to believe that people care about me and my life so I only ever really open up to people when I can tell that they are actually listening and care and don't feel like I am being a burden to them.
I guess it's just extra hard to deal with life and all of the emotions that come with it when you're forced to keep everything bottled up and deal with those feelings on top of feeling like you are a burden to the people who are supposed to be helping you through the madness of life. If it were up to me, I would much rather have these people adding joy to my life rather than anxiety, but I guess you don't always get what you want...
Now, this is not to say that I don't have any friends. In fact, the negatively evolving relationships have made me that much more thankful for the good friends that I do have. Losing friends has made me realize just how important those good friends are to me. So, to those good friends I say, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for helping me deal with the melodrama that I often make out of my life.
Anyways, that's all for now. Just a few thoughts that have been keeping me up at night.
Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original
