I always love the idea of the New Year and starting fresh, making resolutions, etc. However, just like everyone else, my resolutions never stick. So, for this past year, instead of making a resolution, I decided to make a theme for my 2017 (inspired by my old manager – shout out to you Sonja).
As I’ve mentioned before, I struggle with clinical depression (I probably sound like a broken record at this point but whatever). My depression often gets the best of me, causing a lack of motivation, extreme exhaustion, and general absence of excitement for life. It is easy for me to sleep all day, shut out the world, and stay in my head.
With that being said, I wanted to tackle my demons head on. So, the theme of my year was “yes”. I was going to force myself to say yes to anything and everything in the hopes of not letting my depression get the best of me. I didn’t want it to keep me from living as it has done so many times in the past. (I guess this could count as a resolution but I choose to think of it more as a theme of saying yes to life/living.)
In the beginning, I figured I’d go out a bit more, spend more time with friends, etc. but as you can imagine, that was definitely not all that this year entailed. Since I told practically everyone about this theme of mine, I was held accountable by everyone – for better or worse.
At first, it was mainly saying yes to going out on the weekends, meeting friends for dinner, etc. (things that normal people do already but that I used to say no to or flake on). However, that was only the beginning of what I ended up doing. I did a number of things that I truthfully probably would not have done if it weren’t for this “year of yes”.
I joined a kickball league with friends from work. I went out on work nights. I hopped on a plane to go visit a friend from college in Arizona on a whim. I tried online dating (and actually gave it a shot – not just swiped and then deleted the app) and actually went on a few dates. I didn’t flake as much on friends. I started doing CrossFit. I traveled to Chicago for less than 48 hours just for fun. I went to a reunion at the camp I spent all of my summers at growing up. The list goes on…
As you can imagine, this year of yes took a toll on my bank account but I figured it was okay because it was for experiences – not just things. However, my bank account wasn’t the only thing that suffered… I was constantly exhausted from saying yes to everything. Not only was I physically exhausted but I was also mentally and emotionally drained. I was not letting myself recharge or rest because I had to just keep doing.
Even though I am mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from this year, I don’t regret it. As I said before, I truly believe that I would not have done many of the things I did if it weren’t for this theme/resolution of saying yes. I traveled to new places and fell in love with new faces. I pushed myself and did things that I didn’t think I could. I said yes to life and faced my demons head on.
This year taught me a lot. Like I said, I did things that I thought I couldn’t do – proving to myself that I am stronger than I think. It re-taught me that experiences are greater than money and things. However, most of all, it taught me that I need to work on balance. I need to balance saying yes to life and living but also listening to my head, heart, and body and knowing when I need to say no in order to rest and recharge.
2017, you were quite a year. 2018, I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store.
Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original
