The Reality of Postgrad Life

Well friends, it has officially been four months since I graduated - aka 1/3 of a year - and I have done nothing...

I have not found a job yet. I moved back home and am living with my parents. I have not found my soul mate. The list goes on.

When I think of life in those terms, it's hard not to get depressed. It's hard not to see the glass as half-empty and think that nothing is ever going to fall into place (or maybe that's just my self-deprecating mind). It is so easy for me to compare myself to others (especially on social media) and think that I'm the only one who doesn't have this whole post-grad life figured out yet and somehow I'm less of a person because of it. I am constantly talking myself down into a spiral of negativity and it's really not helping anyone.

However, the other day when I was laying around wallowing in self-pity, I saw this picture and the quote really resonated with me.

"You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward" - what a concept!

I always seem to think that once I have a job or once I get a boyfriend or once I lose a certain amount of weight or once I *insert aspiration here*, then life will start - a sentiment that is completely false.

Life doesn't run on contingencies - it's happening all the time.

This whole transition period has really forced me to breathe and take life one day at a time. After all, the future comes one day at a time. While I may not currently be living the life I have envisioned for myself, that doesn't mean that I never will. However, the only thing I can do at the moment is make a conscious effort everyday to eventually get to that place.

Everyday I make the conscious effort to get myself out of bed at a reasonable hour. Everyday I make the conscious effort to submit my resume to companies that I would like to work for. Everyday I make the conscious effort to exercise and eat better so that I can eventually feel better about the way I look.

Even though I would love for everything to fall into place tomorrow, I know they won't and that's okay. Timing is different for everyone and while it might not be my time just yet, I know it will come eventually. With that being said, I just need to remind myself to breathe and let things happen as they will.

I'm not usually a fan of God's timing (I can get pretty impatient), but somehow life has continued despite things not happening the way that I want them to. And - if we're being honest - even though I haven't appreciated the timing, I am still pretty pleased with the way that my life has turned out thus far. So, even though I can get impatient in the process, I have faith that everyday things are coming together bit by bit and are eventually going to lead to something great.

Here's hoping my time comes soon though because I'm getting tired of waiting...

Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original

Great Expectations

The other day (in the midst of one of my quarter life crisis panic attacks) my mom asked me a question that really got to me. She turned to me and - completely seriously - asked me, "Julie, do you ever think that you expect too much out of life?"

Wow oh wow. 

How do I even begin to answer that question? Yes? No? Sometimes? What?

To be honest, I absolutely, 100% I expect a lot out of life - maybe some would say too much but let me explain. 

When I say that I expect a lot out of life, I guess I mean to say that I just want to be happy and excited about life even though realistically, that's not always going to happen. I expect life to always be an adventure when in reality, monotony and routine are sometimes necessary and not always adventurous.

My mom brought this up because since graduation, I have been experiencing a minor existential crisis in that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I was getting worked up over the idea of having nothing getting me out of bed in the morning and essentially no reason to live. She basically told me that I was being overdramatic, expecting too much out of life, and that sometimes you have to deal with boring (in much nicer terms of course).

However I cannot accept that. I refuse to accept that. I agree with her in that yes, I was maybe being a tad overdramatic but I refuse to just "deal" with a boring life.

I crave passion. I yearn for purpose. I desperately desire a reason to be. 

While I understand that it might take some time to find my passion or purpose, I don't think that sitting around is the right way to pass that time. I don't just want to settle because something is easy or comfortable. I think that if you are unsure as to what your purpose is or where your passion lies, you should desperately be searching for that - not sitting complacently, accepting life as a dull, boring way to pass time before the grave. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be happy and I think most other people do too. With that being said, I think that happiness comes from finding your passions and living with a sense of purpose. So, if you are not living out your passion and purpose, shouldn't you at least be trying to?

Some may say that expectations lead to inevitable disappointment and I agree - that is sometimes the case. However, someone once told me that if you don't expect anything from anyone then there is no reason for them to do anything more than the minimum for you; you limit what they can and will do for you by setting the bar so low for them.

I think that the same can be true of life. If you don't ever expect anything out of it, you won't get anything out of it. If you expect the bad, you'll only ever get (or see) the bad. However, if you expect the best, you will always be looking for the best and find it in places you might not have looked if you didn't expect anything.

I don't know - I know there are multiple sides to everything and that not one view is necessarily right. However, with that being said, for now, I think that it is better to expect a lot out of life and hope for the best rather than living a dull, hopeless life simply because you are afraid of being disappointed. 

So, here's to living in hope and with the expectation that life be filled with purpose, passion, and pure joy.

Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original

15 Things I Would Tell My Freshman Self - From a Class of '15 (Almost) Grad

Well hello there!

It's been a while since I've written but I figured that with graduation quickly approaching, I would take the time to reflect on the things I've learned throughout my past four years in college. The following things are things that I wish someone would have told me (or maybe people did tell me and I wish that I would have really listened) when I was starting school.

1. Take the classes with the best professors - not just the easy ones.
During registration, everyone is going to be looking at ratemyprofessor.com searching for the teachers with the best ratings. Most people will be looking for the comments saying, "easiest A I've ever gotten!" However, oftentimes you will find yourself in those classes bored out of your mind wondering why you are wasting your time there. With that being said, I encourage you to take classes with professors that maybe have ratings like, "hard grader but interesting class" or "smartest person I've ever met! Not an easy class but definitely worth your time!" Those classes will definitely require more work but they will be much more interesting and you will actually learn something - after all, that's what school is for, right?

2. The freshman 15 is real.
I know that everyone jokes about the freshman 15 but for a lot of people (myself included), it is a very real thing. Now that you don't have your mom doing the grocery shopping or cooking for you, it is up to you to make healthy choices. It is so easy to always go for the pizza slice or french fries, and that is fine in moderation, but don't forget to eat things like fruits and vegetables too or else everything is going to catch up with you real quick. Alcohol is also a huge factor. Many students start drinking heavily during their freshman year and don't realize the effects that it has on their body. Alcohol is full of empty calories so just keep that in mind; maybe have one less drink than you normally would in order to conserve those calories. Also, now that you are in college, you have a lot more time when you are not in class so make sure to allocate some time for exercise. With a free gym membership, there is no reason not to work out. Just be conscious of what you are doing to your body and you will be fine.

3. Social media is not reality.
It is so easy to get caught up in what is going on in social media. It is an endless cycle of seeing people doing fun things and looking beautiful so at some point you will likely feel down on yourself because you aren't doing anything exciting at that moment or you don't look camera ready all the time. When you start to feel that way, you simply need to remind yourself that people only post the good parts of their lives - no one is going to post a picture of themselves crying while eating a pint of ice cream or laying in bed watching Netflix in their baggy sweats. Just remember that social media is not always an accurate representation of life.

4. Imagine your dream job and do what you can to get there.
I know that few people actually know what they want to do with their lives but try to think of your dream job. If you have some idea of what you want to do, that will help you figure out what to do next. It is hard to figure out your next step if you don't know where you are headed. Knowing where you want to be after graduation will help you to take the appropriate actions to get to where you want to be. For example, if you know that you want to work in the entertainment industry, look for internships in the entertainment industry towards the beginning of college so that you can gain experience - this will make securing interviews and landing jobs that much more realistic.

5. Get informed.
There is so much going on in the world and everyone is going to have an opinion about it. It is up to you to get the information that you need to make informed opinions about things for yourself. Don't let others tell you what to think - think for yourself. It can be overwhelming trying to learn about everything but don't freak out. Take it slow and read an article or two a day about relevant news - or subscribe to the Daily Skimm (a daily email with understandable information about world news). You will thank me later when you are able to actually talk about things that are going on in the world instead of listening in to conversations and not having any idea what anyone is talking about.

6. Tell the girl next to you that you like her shirt.
Not literally, but what I mean is give compliments. Oftentimes I'll find myself admiring someone either for their looks, personality, or something else and I keep it to myself. However, we - myself included - should try to give away the good! What is the point of keeping those positive thoughts to ourselves? Make someone's day by complimenting them! No matter how awkward someone is when they take a compliment, it always makes them feel better about themselves. Plus, it's a good way to start conversations which could eventually lead to a friendship.

7. Don't let the amount of alcohol you do or do not consume dictate what you do.
Coming in to college, I didn't drink. Hard-headed Julie told herself and everyone else that she didn't drink so she never did. No one really cared - in fact, people applauded me for being true to myself. However, I was nervous about being judged by others and not fitting in at parties and things like that so I didn't go out very often. I let my lack of alcohol consumption dictate my social life when in reality, it shouldn't have mattered. If you want to do something, do it - regardless of how everyone else is doing it.

8. Don't knock it 'til you try it.
It's easy to judge things from a distance but I encourage you to refrain from passing judgement until you try it for yourself. Everyone has a different opinion about everything under the sun so it is up to you to form your own opinion on your own terms. For instance, I spent my first semester of college telling myself that I would never join a sorority because I didn't want to be one of those girls. However, with that in mind, I challenged myself to go through recruitment so that I could have something to back my arguments with. However, I ended up falling in love with Pi Beta Phi and now can't imagine my college career without it.

9. Don't be afraid to do things alone.
If you want to do something but no one else will do it with you, do it anyways. Don't let the fear of being alone hold you back from doing what you want. Some of my favorite memories from the past four years are from when I went and did something on my own (including traveling to foreign countries alone) and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Not only do you learn a lot about yourself and grow as a person, but you also end up with the best stories and meet some of the coolest people that you might not necessarily have talked to if you had someone with you.

10. You can do anything but not everything.
There are endless opportunities and ways to get involved in college but you need to be choosy. You can do anything you want because there is no one holding you back however, you need to make sure to find balance in what you do. There will be times when you over commit yourself - whether that be to clubs and organizations or friends or school and you will feel overwhelmed. You may need to prioritize and decide what is most important to you. At that point, you'll have to breathe and remind yourself that you can do anything but not everything.

11. Ask how people are really doing.
Oftentimes we get caught up in going through the motions of our day to day lives that we forget that other people have things going on too. It is important to make a conscious effort and take time to get out of your head to check in on others. You'll be surprised at how many people are suppressing their emotions and are just waiting to talk to someone. Everyone needs someone to talk to - be that person for someone.

12. Don't be too hard on yourself - everyone makes mistakes.
It really is true that you are your own worst critic - I can attest to that. I hold myself to impossible, unrealistic standards and don't let myself live down mistakes I make. However, you have to try to remember that - like Hannah Montana says - everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days. You might remember your mistakes for a while but other people will forget them as soon as something else comes along and you should too. Forgive yourself - nobody is perfect.

13. Never be afraid to ask questions.
It really is true that when you don't ask, the answer is always no. You never know what people will say unless you ask. If you want something, ask for it; the worst anyone can ever say is no. If you don't understand something, ask. Even when you think it is a stupid question, ask anyways because I guarantee that there are other people wondering the same thing and they will thank you for stepping up and asking.

14. It's okay not to be okay.
Everyone puts on this act that everything is fine and dandy 100% of the time. However, realistically, that's not true. It may seem like everyone has everything together while you are falling apart on the inside but I can guarantee you that everything is not as it seems. Everyone is dealing with their own internal struggles. I encourage you to talk about your problems with others to reduce the stigma that comes with not being "okay". It really is okay not to be okay. Acknowledging your struggles will help you to appreciate your successes and happiness that much more.

15. Don't forget to have fun.
It is so easy to get bogged down with school work and jobs/internships. Maybe I'm the only one but looking back, I definitely passed up plenty of fun experiences because I thought that I should study instead or sleep so that I could wake up for work the next morning. I'm not saying that social activities should trump everything but just make sure that you let yourself have fun. It's not that I didn't have fun in college, it's just that there are definitely times when I could have put off studying a bit longer or given up a few hours of sleep to play and I would still manage to graduate.

College is full of ups and downs that no one will ever really be able to prepare you for. So, with that being said, embrace the journey and take from it what you can. You will meet some of the coolest people in the world, have some of the most phenomenal experiences, and grow exponentially as a person if you let yourself. I have faith in you and am cheering you on.

Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original