Great Expectations

The other day (in the midst of one of my quarter life crisis panic attacks) my mom asked me a question that really got to me. She turned to me and - completely seriously - asked me, "Julie, do you ever think that you expect too much out of life?"

Wow oh wow. 

How do I even begin to answer that question? Yes? No? Sometimes? What?

To be honest, I absolutely, 100% I expect a lot out of life - maybe some would say too much but let me explain. 

When I say that I expect a lot out of life, I guess I mean to say that I just want to be happy and excited about life even though realistically, that's not always going to happen. I expect life to always be an adventure when in reality, monotony and routine are sometimes necessary and not always adventurous.

My mom brought this up because since graduation, I have been experiencing a minor existential crisis in that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I was getting worked up over the idea of having nothing getting me out of bed in the morning and essentially no reason to live. She basically told me that I was being overdramatic, expecting too much out of life, and that sometimes you have to deal with boring (in much nicer terms of course).

However I cannot accept that. I refuse to accept that. I agree with her in that yes, I was maybe being a tad overdramatic but I refuse to just "deal" with a boring life.

I crave passion. I yearn for purpose. I desperately desire a reason to be. 

While I understand that it might take some time to find my passion or purpose, I don't think that sitting around is the right way to pass that time. I don't just want to settle because something is easy or comfortable. I think that if you are unsure as to what your purpose is or where your passion lies, you should desperately be searching for that - not sitting complacently, accepting life as a dull, boring way to pass time before the grave. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be happy and I think most other people do too. With that being said, I think that happiness comes from finding your passions and living with a sense of purpose. So, if you are not living out your passion and purpose, shouldn't you at least be trying to?

Some may say that expectations lead to inevitable disappointment and I agree - that is sometimes the case. However, someone once told me that if you don't expect anything from anyone then there is no reason for them to do anything more than the minimum for you; you limit what they can and will do for you by setting the bar so low for them.

I think that the same can be true of life. If you don't ever expect anything out of it, you won't get anything out of it. If you expect the bad, you'll only ever get (or see) the bad. However, if you expect the best, you will always be looking for the best and find it in places you might not have looked if you didn't expect anything.

I don't know - I know there are multiple sides to everything and that not one view is necessarily right. However, with that being said, for now, I think that it is better to expect a lot out of life and hope for the best rather than living a dull, hopeless life simply because you are afraid of being disappointed. 

So, here's to living in hope and with the expectation that life be filled with purpose, passion, and pure joy.

Sincerely yours,
Just Another Original